Tuesday, February 2, 2010

First post

Welcome! What is this blog about? Why did I start it? A few reasons. One is that my Facebook page is kind of sparse, and I want to put something under the "websites" category that people can click on to learn more about me. Especially for girls who go to my profile to do research. Oh man, Facebook... you really killed the mystery didn't you. It used to be that I could go weeks, even months before finding out a girl I liked was treasurer of her local NRA chapter, or that her favorite book was The Da Vinci Code. But who needs love anyway right?

On top of the personal stuff, I plan on reviewing books and movies and generally hating on all things that grind my gears. If you're saying to yourself that this is almost exactly like all 12 of the blogs you read, well, you should read fewer blogs because that sounds like an enormous waste of time. And I'll respond to your criticism with another criticism: duh. Ok, maybe I'm not completely sure what criticism means. The point is, I'm aware it's similar to a lot of other blogs. It's kind of the point. It's even stated cleverly and matter-of-fact-ly in the title of the blog.

So who will read this stuff? I don't know. The fruit is dangling free of charge if you want a taste. And I guess I don't care if nobody ever reads this blog. Well, a little maybe. Obviously I'm doing this and not something less public because I want it be available for people to read. The recently departed J.D. Salinger was apparently content to live his life without publishing, writing completely for himself. There is something sick about this desire to conceal yourself and your writing like that. Part of the magic of reading/writing is touching on the common human experience. Was fame so abhorrent to Salinger that he didn't want to be a part of that? And talk about irony, J.D. Your death made you almost as famous as Heidi Montag's reconstructed labia--that's super famous.

Another reason for starting the blog is I'm bored. How is that possible you ask? After all, I reside in the most interesting city in the world, the city that never sleeps--where there is literally something to do all the time. So get off the couch, bra. Right? First of all, the couch is very comfortable thank you very much. And second, it may be time to trim your obesely romanticized vision of New York. Fast money, fast living, easy girls right?. Na, it's not like that at all actually. At least not at the dive bars I go to. Ok, some of the girls are easy, but 45 years-old is (normally) too old for me. And why are 45 year-old women out trying to mix it up with young (mostly high school) kids anyway? It's sad. We know it, you know it. Everyone knows it. Dead Salinger knows it. At 22, I even feel uncomfortably old some nights when it's tween-central. You had your time to be young and cool and accepted in any situation. Stay out of Bourbon St. on 80th and Columbus, and retain some shred of your dignity, which mostly disintegrates when you hit on boys with braces.

But I digress. I'm not bored all the time, but when I am I want an outlet for that boredom. If you made it here all the way to to end, you're either a patient family member or a...nope, definitely a family member. And if you did make it, cool (thanks Mom). I'll try to make it up to you with future posts.

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