If you read the newspaper, watch tv, or really if you're alive at all, you know about MTV's "The Jersey Shore." And if you're more aware than a vegetable, which many Manhattan drivers are not (see most recent post), then you also know about some Italian groups expressing disappointment about how the "The Jersey Shore" guidos and guidettes portray themselves because it makes "real" Italians look bad. I sympathize with these "real" Italians, trust me I do. I wouldn't like it either if misogynistic grease-balls on tv tainted my people's previous reputation as...misogynistic grease-balls. Yeah, hate to break it you, the Italians, but people already thought you were like that. I mean, come on, your president almost got, check that--did get in a fist-fight on the street. So, the president of Italy is Ronnie. Cool. Oh man, you really can't make this stuff up.

And if you don't want Americans to make fun of your culture, your first mistake was immigrating here, because we love love love to make fun of immigrants. Seriously it's what we do, mostly because we're wildly insecure and need to reinforce our superiority against people who are different. Which is really too bad, because the one real Italian I'm friends with is one of the sweetest, most hair gel-free, non-douchey guys I know. What up, Francesco.

But because the Italians' reputation is a lost, greasy cause, attention must be paid to how "The Jersey Shore" makes the Jersey Shore, as in the geographic area, look bad. That's the real crime here. Contrary to what Ronnie or Vinny tells you, the Jersey Shore is actually a lot bigger than the boardwalk in Seaside Heights. And believe it or not, it contains more establishments than the Karma club and that t-shirt store where the cast (does not) work. Where are the activists standing up for this wrongly-maligned stretch of coastline? If none come to its support, the area's reputation may become like that of Long Island, which similarly has a lot more to it than just--wait, nevermind...Long Island is wack. All of it.